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Pregnancy is one of the beautiful phases for every woman. Right from brainstorming about the baby names to planning about the homecoming the baby to deciding everything for the new member of the family, it brings unexpected happiness in the lives of everyone.
From experiencing all the symptoms of pregnancy during the 9 months when a mother suffers a pregnancy loss that feeling of trauma is something which cannot be understood by someone who has actually not felt it.
However, there is a silence around this M word and reasons seem to be many.
1. Media(mis) representation
The typical movies and Tv serials have this grossed representations of miscarriage which shows that when a mother suffers from the pregnancy loss she would grieve for a few days but suddenly she overcomes it with the help of some documentary or some very caring people around them. But the reality is far distant from what we are being shown. The phase of miscarriage comes with the loneliness which a mother has to bear alone and it is probably one of the reasons why there is silence around this term.
So what we really need is some fair representation of the term.
2. Blaming herself for the incident
When a woman does not have answers for questions like why did it happen and how did it actually happen she tries to take the blame on her and that is why she chooses to remain silent on the topic. So what is really needed is that she has all the answers of all the W's that she has in her mind otherwise it would be difficult to prevent the stigma around the pregnancy loss.
3. Over-sympathetic to insensitive advice from the people
Unsolicited messages from the known do not really help much rather it complicates the situation. From being over-sympathetic to insensitive about the situation they would suggest you move on and say things like' It's been a month, how much time will you take to recover'? or maybe you could have taken extra care of you'. These questions actually shatter the women and she actually chooses to remain quiet rather than speaking anything on the subject.
What we really need is the non-judgemental space to the women. I guess this is not much?
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Author- Neha Wadhwa
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