For many, leaving in a relationship is not like a walk in the park it could be emotionally overwhelming and physically daunting due to many reasons that you never wondered would come up when you began seeing someone. Problems like lack of money, worry about the impact on the kids, difficulty finding housing, realistic worries about the other’s reaction are real woes that could plague a relationship. Thus there comes the need for detailed planning — bringing family support, accessing community resources, getting legal advice and protection. Obstacles could be challenging, but you shouldn't always just give up on someone. Here are the three common roadblocks to decisive action:
Seeing the Big Picture
The mind tries to connect the dots, it motivates you to just not give up on someone you love. You could be emotionally off-balance which leads to magical thinking — that things can turn around. How? Maybe just by sitting and talking to the other person? Or hanging out in the park for a while. It’s likely that things won’t be always fine. Once you both get back in the old environs and routines, there would always be something that would trigger problems. What should you do? Take a step back and look at the big picture, the big patterns, the past months and years, and not get seduced by this one weekend or one day.
Fear of Being Alone
You have undoubtedly met people who are never alone more than a few days, weeks. Head turners you know. They may appear all happy but what they fear is being alone and that is why the idea of giving up on someone easily doesn't cross their mind until something sever happens. Being able to tolerate aloneness is an adult skill set that at some point everyone needs to master to be more resilient. This helps, a lot, if you are in a toxic relationship.
Fear of Regret
All of us have a bad day in our relationship or even a bad life, and if you just decide to give up someday; maybe you will look back and realize that you were wrong. You could have taken an effort. After all, you loved them. You are aware of their highs and lows. This is how our minds work; our past is always being recreated as we look at it through the lens of the present.
The best you can do is decide what you need to do now. Don't you want to give it a last thought? Comparing the pros with the cons? If you just leave one day, you may have these waves of regret in the future, that this is part of the natural process and not a sign that you made the wrong decision but rethinking the decision is always a good thought.
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